VIDEO NASTIES
After much debate I decided to finally purchase a video camera. There was never much doubt that it could be of immense value as a training aid, my only concern was whether I would have the tenacity to find a camera person who could film each run, and also whether I would have the technical ability to reciprocate every run my training partner made.
Like most decisions in our irrational existence this one was made for me based on completely unrelated happenings to the original plan and was a reaction to yet another “ if only” run.
Now you would think that after some 20 years practice of avoiding the offer of any opinion on the manner of my dismissals on a variety of cricket grounds in Yorkshire, often to a rash stroke, born of ill founded over confidence, or more usually inept technique, both fatal flaws in my make up, my wife would cease from comment at the end of another “if only round”. You would think she could see the similarities between the sports, that one mistake is usually the end of the contest, no matter how good the preparation, no matter the standard of opposition, one mistake, and it’s all over. That “if only moment” haunts you until the following week and that moment is at its most potent as you walk back to the sanctity of the pavilion (or caravan). The golden rule is that you refuse to offer comment to the self absorbed participant, either supportive or critical, but particularly not the latter, until an acceptable time has passed; breaking this rule invites a Pandora’s Box of wrath, and complete denial of any reasoned analysis, accompanied by questions as to the competence of the well meaning advisor to assess the situation anyway.
However, on this particular day, buoyed no doubt by a trio of colleagues equally adamant that the fault lay firmly at my doorstep, the golden rule was broken and after another evening of debate threatening marriage and friendship the decision to get the camera was made. I now have a record of every indoor run this winter, as does my training partner. My runs are recorded with exact precision, the start and finish whilst at other ends of the arena are in perfect focus with the rest of the run, in fact apart from overuse of the slow motion button ( she denies this), the records are as clear as any TV production. My attempts as a cameraman are slightly less successful, overdubbed by conversation with colleagues, and often minus the opening jump sequence as I seek to get the optimum vantage point, however even these are of sufficient quality to be of use and far more interesting than what we are about to highlight.
I now know my average times for all the contact equipment and weaves of each dog. I can compare these over a period of time to see if I am improving, I can compare my performance with the best handlers out there, I can see where they make up time, I can see how weak my imagined well executed false turns are, I can see why my partner is quicker than I am (assuming illicit use of the slow motion button is ruled out). I can spend hours analyzing and I will improve because of this. Agility videos are brilliant. !!!
Before any of the English teachers out there berate me for the last paragraph, the use of the I was deliberate. These videos are of immense benefit to me, to anyone else they are simply boring, at best. My mother’s single comment, when subjected to freeze frame analysis of my run at Crufts that would have done Alan Hansen justice, was how noisy the dogs barked, and what a nice blue shirt I was wearing. The builders encamped at home since Christmas, now greet me every Monday avoiding any reference to the weekend performance for fear of endless video repeats, even the dogs have stopped looking behind the TV screen for their comrades as they settle amid endless video barks from the distant past.
I repeat, these videos are of immense value to me but of absolutely no interest to anyone else, so why oh why are we subjected to the plethora of abject offerings from the agility community on The Forum, You Tube and the like? Why do people post these? What remote significance do they think that their training run, on a dull day, in a muddy field at the foot of a highland mountain range has to anyone else? As the Dog Vegas show was cancelled this weekend, I have had time to consider the mind set of these posters and offer the following types; the list is by no means exhaustive but…..
YOU ARE AMERICAN
The general opinion of most of us in the UK is that all is bigger and better in the States, and we also adopt the principle that the average American is also of the same opinion and that he wants to show the world just how much bigger and better he/she is. Now anyone subscribing to Clean Run may have curtailed these feelings a little when subjected to monthly full page spreads of Enid from Detroit aged 82 running her Corgi in the USDAA Champ Final, and 25 stone Dan from Illinois with the first ever Great Dane to run in Champ Classes. The conclusion here is that the progression by clear /qualifying rounds does not automatically lead to partnerships equipped to rival our best and the postings on You Tube confirm this. I know there are many brilliant partnerships over there, many of whom would be equally successful here, but the attributes of those participants are obscured by their video posting colleagues. Why do these people post videos of runs which at best would make a 10th place in a G1-2 jumping class? Do they assume that the agility population of our little country would be impressed? Do they think that we are so far behind them that we would revere the 10 second weave pole performance of Dan’s Dane? I for one cannot. Obviously they were hugely important to him, but he is thousands of miles away in the US and does not even have the excuse of showing his friends. Sorry to spoil the dream Mr. Moustache, but over here you are unknown and nobody cares. !!!
YOU ARE A SUPER TRAINER AND WANT TO SHARE YOUR SUCCESS
Now I have big reservations about this, personally if I have a training technique that works better than any other I want to keep it to myself, its called competitive advantage, and I need all I can find. OK I will pass these on when instructing, but then people expect that when they pay for lessons, if I could not offer this then I would have no pupils. To compound my doubts, I have yet to see any top handlers/trainers posting instruction videos. They tend to sell them instead for good money, that makes much more sense so let us put a different slant on my theories.
YOU THINK YOU ARE A SUPER TRAINER AND WANT TO SHOW HOW CLEVER YOU ARE.
Under this heading we have seen the running contacts saga which consists of a dog repetitively running onto a down plank, whilst the trainer throws a tennis ball. Part 2 sometime in the future, shows another 3 minutes of this, the only difference being that the plank has been raised to a height of 3 concrete steps rather than 2.The only tip from the over excited trainer is that running contacts take a long time to train. What do we learn from this, and what is the IQ level of the camera person who films such repetition? I can offer no answer. The other attempt to solve this particular task , and avidly followed by some on the Forum, shows a down plank resting on scaffolding, the scaling of which would test the SAS, and a dogs’ efforts to run and hit the points. Now this is week 125 and the dog gets it’s target most times, but this is from a standing start, always in the same place, so would you not expect this? The handler is always in the same position too. The occasional misses are subtitled OOOOOPS. I avidly await week 135 but think my time. would be better spent on a Dawn Weaver workshop or similar if that was my aim. I have seen, again accompanied by an American accent, weird attempts at training the teeter ( that’s see saw ), dozens of examples of inconsistent contact criteria, and the ultimate, the dog weaving at 5 days old, ( ok I exaggerate, but only slightly). All these efforts are accompanied by brilliant cheesy grins so the video stars are obviously pleased with their results, and no stranger to the camera.
I stick with my initial assessment that any worthwhile training tips are unlikely to be found amid this gaggle of no hopers.
SELF DELUSION
Those who know me are aware that I have a great love of the sport, and an even greater admiration for the top practitioners. I like nothing better than watching the best perform under the maximum pressure of top competition and for this reason I am grateful for the great digital advances of recent years. These advances, and in particular You Tube, allowed me to see most of the Champ classes at Crufts. I enjoyed watching the individual styles, the control and ultimate performance of those, but after 15 minutes I had had enough, the lure of live footage of Bruce Springsteen and Michael Stipe on stage together, held greater attraction than that of Greg Derrett closely behind Dave Munnings at Crufts, and I switched to the music section. The point being, that even the best have a limited appeal, so why would anyone feel that their training in the statutory dimly lit equestrian centre would interest anyone? We have already discussed the fact that my perfectly produced video, of the perfectly executed run (well almost), in the perfectly lit Crufts arena is not even of interest to my mother, so what deludes the people who post these offerings? We have seen week 17 to week 29 of Fido’s training, it’s all the same, the handlers even wear the same clothes, the venues merge into one and the sequences vary little. The handling skills range from OK to OK, the dogs performance varies from OK to OK; only the accompanying music fluctuates in standard. I count the number of times the dog does a contact now, rather than sheep if I cannot sleep. There are only so many times you can watch a dog stop at the end of an A frame before life ceases to have any meaning, and these acts of mediocrity are again accompanied by the cheesy grin, half looking at camera but feigning modesty as the dog is rewarded. I can only offer the explanation that the subject has a completely misguided evaluation of their own ability. To the unrelated even the best have a limited appeal, so the participant must think they are better than that. My advice, forget these postings, if you are good enough for people to watch then prove it, get to Olympia or Crufts then we may be interested.
In a bid to end this current vogue and re direct the efforts of these sadly misguided souls our criminal profiler trawls the muddy country fields and equestrian centres seeking to isolate those in possession of cameras, American accents and a cheesy grin. However, whilst this would indeed isolate many culprits there is one further far less common individual who would avoid detection, that of the Celebrity Stalker. The culprit who follows the decent handler and avidly posts their every run for all to see, this type is far more difficult to detect and profiles merely as female, 15-18 year old. This latest offshoot is at the moment a much rarer commodity but if I were a talented, young advanced handler living and training in a muddy field somewhere near the Welsh borders I would be a little afraid.
This is my first offering to Room 101, for the uninitiated it is where Celebrities offer their pet hates for analysis, and hopefully, exile forever into Room 101. I applaud the fact that technology now allows me to view almost all major events wherever they occur, thrive on seeing the best action there is, but please allow me to exile all the irrelevant mediocrity.
If I am successful, all useless video postings of agility training will cease, if unsuccessful, as I know I will be, I must forever live with the ceaseless banal images of the inadequate striving for their moment of fame, and worldwide exposure, but then again it’s a free world, I don’t have to look do I?
Yes I am afraid I do, like some suicidal moth I am drawn to the lamp, lured by the sheer self delusion, lured to see how bad it can get. I don’t understand why people post, nor do I understand why I seek out the offerings, but it would be a sad world if we were all the same and lived in Scunthorpe.
